Things you shouldn’t say…

…to a woman trying to conceive or a pregnant woman.

We were trying to conceive for about a year before I got pregnant this fall.  I have several friends who either are still trying or took a while to conceive.  I have several friends who are pregnant right now as well.  My point being, a lot of our conversations end up being about babies or trying to have babies and quite often we’re expressing shock over something someone actually had the nerve to say to us, often times someone we barely know.  I’ve prepared a list of things you should never say one of these women, in no particular order…

-You’re how far along?!?  You sure do look big/small!! (I’m probably already aware of this and self-conscious of this.  I don’t need a reminder.)
-You look tired.  (This usually reads: You look like crap today.)
-Don’t be nervous – you should be excited.  (You can be both at the same time.  It seems normal to be a little nervous about a life changing event.)
-Why don’t you try adoption??  (This isn’t anyone else’s decision to make and has probably been considered.)
-You’re having another baby?!?  (Yes, she is.  Enough said.)
-Was this planned??  (Why does this matter?? Just be happy for me.)
-Are you really going to eat that?!?  (I’m a grown woman who’s having a baby.  I think I can make my own dietary decisions.)
-I never had morning sickness.  (Really, if I could keep food down right now, I might be happy for you.)
-I had morning sickness through my entire pregnancy.  (I need hope that there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.)
-Are you pregnant yet??  (If I’m trying, and you know I’m trying, please understand that I’ll tell you if and when I get pregnant and am ready to tell people.)
-Just relax and stop trying.  You’re bound to get pregnant then.  (Uhh, no.  That doesn’t actually increase the odds.)

I’m sure my list is incomplete.  What would you add to it??


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