I don’t like breastfeeding

I said it.  I feel almost ashamed admitting it, because I feel like mom’s are “supposed” to enjoy the experience.  But I just don’t.  BabyMort eats pretty much every 2 hours.  Once at night she might go about 3 hours and she’s sporadically gone about 3.5 hours, but usually she’s rooting for food every 2 hours.  It takes her about 30+ minutes to eat and get burped and then we have to hold her upright for at least 15 minutes or she’ll spit up everything she just ate.  As a result, I spend almost half my day feeding with her.  Sneak in a little sleep, meals and a shower and I feel like I don’t have time to do anything else.

That is frustrating to me, but I don’t think it’s the reason I dislike breastfeeding.  I would say the two big contributing factors are that: 1) She’s started arching her back while eating, out of nowhere, taking me with her.  It hurts, and I know she doesn’t mean to hurt me, but oh man it HURTS!!   And it hurts through the rest of the time she’s feeding.  2) The other reason is probably linked to me being a control freak.  I hate not knowing how much she’s eating.  There are times when she’s acting hungry an hour after her last meal, and since I have no idea how much she eats at any time, I don’t know if she really is hungry or just needing comfort.  She tends to fall asleep while she’s eating, which only makes it harder to know if she’s gotten enough to eat.

I don’t plan on stopping.  I know this is what I want for my baby girl, but I can’t say it’s the great bonding experience that I heard so much about.

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3 Comments

Filed under Eating

3 responses to “I don’t like breastfeeding

  1. Sarah

    Ok, seriously, I’ve met you what, once at Ambre’s house? But girlfriend, we are kindred spirits!! The day I started nursing Julia I thought “I’ve only got 11 months and 30 days to go. I can do this.” Oy I hated breastfeeding. Everyone said that by like 6-8 weeks things would be just fabulous and I’d love it and have all these wonderful bonding moments. They weren’t better and I had no bonding feelings. Honestly, it took a good four months before I started being ok with nursing, another month before I actually liked it abd another before I could say that I was loving it. There is no shame in not liking it and no shame in feeling like everyone who ever told you it was natural and wonderful are totally and completely insane, cause they are. Nothing natural and wonderful about a creature sucking the life out of ya! But, just like with colic, it does get better and one day you’ll wake up to find it’s kinda great and you and Chloe really do have it all figured out.

  2. Sarah

    P.S. If you ever have another baby, the second time really is easier. 🙂

  3. Meghan M

    Hey,
    Well I hate breastfeeding too. It sucks your never able to do anything except feed your baby ALL THE TIME! sometimes it gets easier and sometimes not. I do do it just for the immunities the baby gets from it. So you are not the only one. AND I thinks it gets worse with the second one cause then your spending so much time with the new baby and your other kids don’t like it a rebel. So hang in there and go for as ling as you can.

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