I said it. I feel almost ashamed admitting it, because I feel like mom’s are “supposed” to enjoy the experience. But I just don’t. BabyMort eats pretty much every 2 hours. Once at night she might go about 3 hours and she’s sporadically gone about 3.5 hours, but usually she’s rooting for food every 2 hours. It takes her about 30+ minutes to eat and get burped and then we have to hold her upright for at least 15 minutes or she’ll spit up everything she just ate. As a result, I spend almost half my day feeding with her. Sneak in a little sleep, meals and a shower and I feel like I don’t have time to do anything else.
That is frustrating to me, but I don’t think it’s the reason I dislike breastfeeding. I would say the two big contributing factors are that: 1) She’s started arching her back while eating, out of nowhere, taking me with her. It hurts, and I know she doesn’t mean to hurt me, but oh man it HURTS!! And it hurts through the rest of the time she’s feeding. 2) The other reason is probably linked to me being a control freak. I hate not knowing how much she’s eating. There are times when she’s acting hungry an hour after her last meal, and since I have no idea how much she eats at any time, I don’t know if she really is hungry or just needing comfort. She tends to fall asleep while she’s eating, which only makes it harder to know if she’s gotten enough to eat.
I don’t plan on stopping. I know this is what I want for my baby girl, but I can’t say it’s the great bonding experience that I heard so much about.