I’m a quitter. It’s true.
I have given my notice at work and starting in May, I’ll be joining the ranks of stay-at-home-mom’s. And you know what? I’m scared.
First, there are the financial risks. What if the budget we’ve set doesn’t actually work out? What if our furnace goes out and we have a giant, unexpected expense, without the cushion of a second income? What if? Honestly, I’m a total catastrophizer, so I could drive myself crazy with the what-ifs.
But, beyond the financial risks, there’s the fear that I won’t be good at this gig. Right now, I spend a good portion of my day away from my kids, 5 days a week. And they still drive me crazy sometimes! (This is where I start the what-ifs again…) So, what if being around my kids all day every day means I can’t give my kids the patience they deserve? What if they’re bored being with me all the time? What if I miss interacting with adults for a good portion of my day? What if I can’t give them the understanding, grace, love, fill-in-the-blank they are worthy of? And of course, the really important question, when will I sneak in junk food if I’m home all day?!?
If I can stop the what-ifs long enough, I usually realize that everything will be fine. We will adjust. We will figure it out. I know this is what’s best for our kids, for our family. I just need to hold the what-ifs at bay and trust that it will all work out.