Here I Grow Again

Just over 7 years ago, I had some friends and family over for a cookie exchange before Christmas. During the course of the afternoon, my mom questioned what I did around the house, because my awesome husband takes care of so many things for us. I was about 4 months pregnant with “Baby Mort” at the time, so I told her that I grow babies.

Two successful pregnancies and two adorable kids later, I’ve decided to give the whole “growing babies” thing another shot. Before anyone gets too excited, I am not pregnant. Aaron and I will not be having any more babies of our own, despite the fact that we make good kids. 🙂

So now you might be wondering what in the world I AM talking about. Well, I am going to be a surrogate. Technically, I will be a gestational surrogate. Alternatively, there are traditional surrogates who provide the egg as well as the womb. My egg will not be a part of this equation and I will have no genetic tie to the baby.

Having seen various family members and friends struggle with infertility, I’ve thought of egg donation or surrogacy in the past. For a variety of reasons, I never took too much time to explore it in the past. However, last fall I happened to meet someone who had been a gestational surrogate. She was someone I’ll probably never see again, but she gave me the name of the agency she had used – just in case.

I started thinking about it more and the reasons that held me back in the past were gone. I talked to my husband. We thought about it, talked to each other and talked it over with close friends. Then we decided to go for it. And I do mean we. This is not something I could ever do without the full support of my previously mentioned awesome husband!

This all started back in September. Since then, we’ve accomplished a lot to move forward with the process. I contacted the agency and filled out a pre-screening application.  They answered my questions. I filled out a lengthy application, provided them with my medical history, had a phone interview and filled out an initial agreement. Fairly quickly, I was provided with the profile of a couple who needed a surrogate, often referred to as Intended Parents (IPs.) Aaron and I agreed this was a couple we wanted to work with. The IPs received my profile and they decided they liked us enough to “meet” via Skype. After chatting, we all agreed this would be a good match and decided to move forward.

After being officially matched, there was even more to do. First I had to receive psychological clearance. After over 3 hours of talking and testing, it was officially determined that I’m not crazy (Ha! Take that Aaron! ;-)) Once we had received the psych clearance, it was time to schedule a medical screening. For this, we had to travel to Chicago to the fertility clinic the IPs are using. I had 7 vials of blood drawn, they checked out my uterus – which is “perfect” by the way – and a nurse talked to us about the medications I’ll have to take before the transfer. When all the results came back and I was medically cleared, we moved on to the legal stage. At this point, the IPs and I each had a lawyer and worked out an agreement that covers all aspects of the upcoming journey – financial, health insurance, legal guardianship, travel, etc…

This is my pile of actual paperwork, so far. This pile includes, among other things, my application, information from the clinic, health insurance information and contract.

Well, legal is done and I am scheduled to start meds. Despite the fact that my feelings on needles haven’t changed much since I was 6 years-old and screamed (like, really, really screamed according to my mom!) at a nurse to “get that thing out of me!!!” during a vaccination, I am confident that I’ve gained enough maturity to handle the daily shots coming my way. My super awesome husband might even be a little excited to stick me with a needle 🙂

So now it’s officially official. I am officially on my way to becoming a surrogate. Officially on my way to growing another baby. Officially on my way to helping a couple create a family.

**I’ll probably post occasional updates throughout the process, but nothing like I did with my own kiddos. I’m fully aware that not everyone shares as much as I do and I want to respect the privacy of the IPs and their future little one.**

Boys are so gross…

During a discussion of body parts that have bones versus cartilage, D said, “Oh, if there’s cartilage in my nose, then I’ve probably eaten some!” This boy has a nose-picking habit that can’t be stopped. He thinks it’s hilarious. Point proven: boys are gross. 

In case you need more proof though, I give you exhibit B. I decided to deep clean our toilets over the weekend. And by deep clean, I mean drain the water from the bowl, take the seat off and use a whole jug of vinegar per toilet sorta clean. The amount of pee that was under the seat hinges and all around the base of the toilet was absolutely disgusting. Based on human anatomy, I can only assume that the errant pee came from a boy. Regardless of which boy it was, although I have my guess based on years of experience, it was a boy. So, point proven: boys are gross. 

Luckily, in addition to being gross, my boy is also curious, creative, snuggly, adventurous, loving, determined… The list goes on and on. So I can overlook his grossness. I’ll just have to teach him how to clean the toilet sooner rather than later. The nose-picking might be a lost cause 🙄